Episode 133 Transcript
Heather Porter (00:03.564)
Hello, you guys. Welcome back to episode 133. Now, some of you know this, some of you don't, but I have two step-sons. One is freshly 22 and the other is about to turn 24 in about a month and a half from now. And they've been in my lives since they were five and seven years old. Now, if they have just spent time with a friend, a friend that I know,
you know, through them, one of their friends, they go out with their friend for the day and they come back home and I asked them about that person. I'll ask them things like, you know, what are they doing for work these days? Or what are they interested in? Keeping in mind, I know these guys that they're hanging out with, or I might say, you know, what are their plans for getting their own places? Cause that's a big topic being in your young twenties. Mostly the response that I get back from both of them is
I don't know. Hmm. And the older one, just so you know, too, has just gotten his official first full-time job out of university. So he's been there now for a few months. Funnily enough, you guys, he's working in a digital marketing agency. It's what I do. That's what my business is. Right. So it's quite funny that I find that funny. So that's a side note, but anyway, I love it. So he's off working in his digital agency.
And I'll ask him questions around work. Like, you know, how's it going at work? Which things do like working on? And he normally will just say, I don't know. And keeping in mind, we're not talking about 15 year old teenagers or 14 year old, know, where they, actually purposefully don't want to answer your questions. We're talking about young adults. We hang out with them and these are still the answers to our questions. I don't know.
So I wonder.
Heather Porter (02:03.53)
What questions are they actually asking their friends, their bosses, their colleagues? Are they open-ended? Are they closed? Like a yes, no answer. How much depth is actually in the question? My old boss, Tony Robbins used to say, the quality of your life is a direct reflection of the quality of the questions that you ask. And
One thing I took away from that is essentially the more successful you are in life, the better questions that you ask, not only to yourself, but of the people around you. And this is making way, way, way more sense to me, as it often does to those of us with children in our lives, as we see past behaviors that we might've had delivered in nice little packages called children. But it sort of fascinated me when the answer is, don't know.
around kind of profound important things and moments in life. So if you don't or if you want to know something, I should say, if you want to know something, do not be scared to ask the question and ask it in different ways until you actually get the answer. Because we know, you know, we're all wired differently as human beings. And sometimes you might ask a question and the person doesn't get it or doesn't give you the answer that you need or or need or understand.
So ask the question again in different ways until you genuinely feel that you have the answer. When I teach about digital marketing, so I speak all the time on the topic, I teach at the University of Sydney's Center for Continuing Education. do obviously sometimes episodes in this podcast. When I teach about digital marketing, you guys, purposefully, purposefully don't use jargon. I know all the jargon like,
You know, all the acronyms like ROAS and CPC, and I could just rattle off loads of marketing jargon. I don't talk in those terms. And the reason why I purposefully do that is not to sound like I don't know what the hell I'm talking about, because I do. It's because most people actually won't ask for clarity. We won't ask for clarity or questions because we're scared to be judged or
Heather Porter (04:26.036)
maybe to feel stupid. And certainly that's in big event settings or in groups of other people, right? But it's funny, it's like almost even one-on-one with our friends sometimes, like, especially if you're younger, why is it that you don't ask better quality questions? A good question can be the difference between having deeper relationships, a clear understanding of what is needed.
and why maybe that's needed specifically in a work environment or even a relationship, an understanding of different perspectives. So important to have those deeper level questions with people that are different than you. Or more importantly, it will help you know if you should trust what you hear or if you should not. And I think that's another thing that we as a human population are, especially younger people are getting
hooked into is going on social media and going, yeah, just because they said it, must be true without asking deeper level questions to ourselves or just even researching, you know, why has this been said? Where does it come from? Is it accurate? Who's this person credentials and qualities and why should I trust them? And what do you do when given the answer to the questions that you ask? Always focus on understanding.
rather than judgment. I think that's one thing I've learned by traveling. I think I've been to 35 countries at this point. One thing I've learned from people is that when you ask a question, immediately don't turn into judgmental crazy person. Just listen, listen, and try and understand the answer and how it's coming from them and their perspective. And remember there is power in the questions that you ask yourself too. Instead of, you know,
Why is every day so stressful? And you're in your brain spinning that around in circles in your brain. Maybe try to ask yourself the question, what can I do to make my days more enjoyable? So there's my little episode on the power of your questions that's come from me, from my recent conversations with 20 year olds that say, I don't know. But seriously, I think we all can improve our.
Heather Porter (06:49.942)
our line of questioning to ourselves and to others to think better, to think deeper on what we're actually working on. And hopefully, whether you have a kid in your life or not, this will help you ask better quality questions. Talk to you guys next time. Thanks as always for tuning in. Bye bye.
