Episode 16 Transcript

Heather:

All right, so sometime back in roughly 2005, I had not been in Sydney for long. So I just moved over to Sydney from California. At that time I was in San Diego. I was working for a life coaching school and we were running a course, right? So we taught people how to be life coaches way back in the day. So because I worked for Tony Robbins for a few years in the States, who I don't know if you guys know who he is, but if you do, he's like the world's number one, you know, inspirational speaker slash coach, really. So I worked for him and because of that, it was sort of my ticket into Australia to get a visa, specifically with this life coaching school. So we could make a claim that because of my work with Tony, I could basically, you know, they needed my skillset to grow this life coaching school within Australia. And so... You know, I'm sitting there and doing all the paperwork and doing my best to stay in this beautiful country that I am in now because I just, it just called to my heart and I wanted to be here. So there I am. I am at a course. I was sitting in on this course cause I wanted to learn more about the company and the courses that we produce. Cause I was basically the general manager of this company and I was stressing out hard you guys. I was stressing. I had already been in Australia, I think at that time for six months and I was waiting for this visa. I had paperwork filed. They just kept asking for one thing after another to get a working visa to stay in the country. So with what that was, you know, all that happening, I couldn't get paid from the company. I was essentially working for the company for free. with good intentions that a visa would come through and I would then be able to legally be paid. So I had sold my car to move to Australia from San Diego. I was living off of, like that money had run out. I was paying rent in a flat share. I was living off of like frozen salmon and cubes of cheese. No kid you not. Like it was getting pretty, pretty bleak. So I'm sitting there, I'm like this manager of this life coaching school, and I'm in the room with the, um, you know, the students and I'm thinking, wow, I am stressed beyond, like, I don't know how I'm going to survive. I don't know if my visa is going to come through. I don't know how I'm going to pay for food, any of it. And one of the guys in the room started chatting to me. He could tell probably it was a little off, perhaps. I don't know, but I don't remember that conversation specifically, but I do remember this conversation. He was chatting to me and he was sharing this really cool model to me. He's like, you know, in times of stress, it's really incredibly powerful to be present, like to be truly present with the people around you. And it's hard when you're stressed. So I want to share this cool model that he shared with me in the hopes that when you work with your next client, you have a conversation with your next. team member, perhaps you know you're coaching or on a sales call, whatever you're up to in your business, you might be a little stressed but you really need to be there for that person. This little flow might help you. So what I want you guys to do now is to picture a four leaf clover. Got it? Simple, four little leaves. It almost looks like two infinity symbols stacked on top of each other, right? The little loopy leaves, four of them. Picture that. So there's a leaf. If you take that leaf in your hand and lay it on a table or in your hand, and what you want to be looking at is that there is like a leaf at the top, at the bottom, at the left and on the right. Now, symbolically, most people focus on one of the leaves in a time of stress or overwhelm when they're having a conversation with somebody. To be present, you want to be in the center where all the leaves intersect. So let me explain what each of those leaves are and I think it'll start to make sense. The first leaf, the one that's on the left-hand side, that's worrying about things that have happened in the past. So you might be having a conversation with somebody, but all that's going on in your head is you're worrying about things that happened in the past. It could be literally an hour ago, that morning, 10 years ago, whatever it is, you're stuck thinking and looping in thoughts that have happened in the past. The next leap, the leaf at the, so that's the one at the left, the one at the top. So the top of the four leaf clover. This is you worrying about what you're going to say next. So especially if it's like on a sales call or with a new client, or maybe it's a bit of a stressful conversation with a team member, you're sitting there and You're like, oh my God, they're talking to me, but what am I gonna say? What am I gonna say? Right, so you're sitting there sitting in that leaf, in that zone. The leaf on the bottom is worrying about what they think about you. So you're not even like worried about, you know, what you're gonna think about next. It's like, what are they thinking of me right now? You're so caught up in that. Look, I find that this oftentimes happens when you're younger or when you're in a room of people you feel like are. beyond you or have more smarts or whatever it is you're telling yourself, right? You feel like you're not qualified to be there. All you're thinking about is, oh my God, do I have something in my teeth? Are they staring at my outfit? So you're like literally thinking about what are they, you're worried about what they're thinking about you. And then the last leaf on the right is you being worried about the future. Maybe you have payroll coming up and you don't have the cash for it. Or maybe your latest marketing campaign is tanking or maybe your dog is sick or whatever it is. You're worried about what's to come. This is like a typical way of a human being. I believe too, after he shared this with me, I'm constantly I've seen myself go through these leaves, but I feel like this is kind of the flow of how we operate. Right. We're sitting there talking to somebody. Our brain either goes to the past to. the future to the what will I say next or to what are they thinking about me now? And you're doing that so much that you're actually not present with the person directly in front of you. So When I'm with someone, I think about the clover. I know it sounds funny, but it's simple, right? It's like a simple little model. I think about focusing on the center of the four leaf clover. That's where I wanna be, in the middle, present, not thinking of any of the other stuff. I really feel you guys, there's no greater gift you can give someone than being present with them. Like truly, have you guys ever been in a room with somebody and... And it might be somebody that you look up to as a mentor and you just feel like they're only looking at you. They only have time for you. They're not looking at their phone. They're not darting off around the room. They're not looking behind your head. They're there for you. It's incredible, right? It's such an amazing feeling to have that person be truly present. So I feel like it's a really big gift that we can give people. So, by the way, before I close out on this very short and sweet episode. I do want to give a quick shout out. Bula Fiji, so guys, you're listening to me. Suddenly I've noticed, so I look at stats, you know, and I see who's kind of looking at me from around the world. Suddenly there's a huge group of you in Fiji listening to me. So Bula, thank you, Vinaka, I'm so excited that you're here. It means the world to me. And gosh, there's a few other countries coming up in the ranks too, and I'll give you shout outs too soon. So ask your friends to listen or. Watch the YouTube videos. I put these on YouTube as well Guys, yeah spread the word if you're finding any sort of value in this Maybe there's another person in your life another business owner who's who's a bit stressed or trying to grow their business Share it with them. I give you guys some shout outs. So in closing I want to leave you with this quote from Eckhart Tolle Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have. And with that, thank you as always for tuning in. It means the world to me. And may you have an amazing, joyful week ahead. Thanks you guys.