Episode 84 Transcript

Heather (00:03.286)

Welcome back episode 84. All right guys. So I want to run something by you. I recently spoke to an amazing individual you'll be meeting soon, probably roughly five podcasts from now named, um, named Kim Yabsley. And Kim Yabsley was talking to me about some of my backstory. She interviewed me for her podcast as well. And I told her a story at which I'm about to tell you guys. And she said to me,

 

I feel like having a breakdown as an entrepreneur is normal and everyone has it. Or it's almost like a rite of passage. And I'm just curious if you guys feel the same way. Are we supposed to have breakdowns? Is that like part of the journey? That sucks. It sucks hard, right? I think back to, um, so I'll tell you the story in a minute, which got me into this and, and it.

 

There's two fold in this story. There's one of a previous person that I worked with. We had a business venture together and it happened to him. And then I started to have my own minor breakdown within the old business that I used to run. So I'm going to paint the picture for you. I want to walk you through this story. And then I'm curious to see what you guys think. Like, what's your, what's your thoughts on breakdowns? Like, yeah. And why do we have them?

 

And when, why can't we see the signs on the wall? Why can't we make changes when we're right thick in the middle of the spiral of it coming to us? So here's the situation. So I was in Egypt. Yes, the country Egypt. And in my previous venture, I've mentioned it before. I used to run a club for entrepreneurs and we would basically go out to different countries and do sort of social entrepreneurial work.

 

Um, it was an amazing time of my life. We, we built a school in Peru for small community called the Weelok community. We did, um, some charitable work with orphanages in Mongolia. Um, we did work with a couple of really cool social enterprises in, um, Cambodia, lots of really amazing places that we went. And my role, I was the co -founder. So I essentially worked with another speaker and he would sell people in from his speaking platform and his sort of his, his.

 

Heather (02:26.934)

I guess, personal brand. And then I would run it. You know, I had travel partners and I'd organize everything and really cool pillow gifts for the members that would come and just, yeah, organize everything. So the club was going really, really well and the trips were amazing. We were having a lot of fun. And then one day, six months prior to our Egypt trip, one of, so my co -founder at the time,

 

there was like writing on the wall that something wasn't quite right. So this guy lived on the road. He did events all over Australia, all over Southeast, well, a little bit of Southeast Asia. He did Singapore, Hong Kong and those areas. He did all over the States. He did all over the UK. So he's multiple time zones all the time circling around the world. Amazing. Yes. But also it takes a beating on your body and

 

He was stressed with the relationships he had with his promoter and his investor back in the States. And there's a lot going on. So I think distress sort of started to get to him and he was changing his personality was changing. And there were little moments of paranoia and things that were coming up where his core inner team were concerned and, but he wouldn't take our help and he wouldn't listen to our, our concern. And this is, this is that moment where you think.

 

Is this like a common thing when we're going through kind of the start of a breakdown, I suppose, or burnout, where we stop hearing advice or we're isolating ourselves from people that care about us, we forget that we can ask for help, but it's definitely looking back, I see that that was happening for him. And then when I really started to understand it was happening, it was when...

 

we stopped doing sort of social entrepreneurialism with Egypt. We didn't have that as an element in our trip. It was just strictly bring as many people as you can. Let's go on a boat down the Nile River. And like we had 120 members. I would always organize mentors as well to come and speak for the group. I feel like we had 20 mentors. You guys, it was huge. And he started pulling out.

 

Heather (04:47.702)

my, my, our crew basically was going to come and assist me. He was just canceling tickets and just weird behaviors, right? We were suddenly going, red flags and he's going on here. And ultimately what happened is the start of the breakdown happened on, on the boat in the Nile river. And I'm not going to get into details or anything like that, but I ultimately will say that, um, with in a very short amount of time, the,

 

So the breakdown happened and, um, gosh, it was, it was hard. Like it was lots of screaming towards me and not, not who he was. Right. Within two weeks, our business or our project together, um, ended. So we had it going for three years. It was like, I loved it. It was a great time in my life, but within three weeks it ended and he went into treatment and, um,

 

That's how I started digital marketing is because it ended overnight. And then I fell into digital marketing because some of the other speakers and people in my network were like, I know, you know, you also work in the online space. Cause on the side of doing the club, I was also building a membership site for him. Um, with there's like 18 ,000 people members in it at launch of his wider, broader community, which the club was high premium, you know, um, product. So it was the wider community involved in the membership.

 

So I had been doing that. So I was kind of getting my feet wet in social media and digital marketing, and then everything ended overnight. And then I went into my business. And then, so I was telling, you know, Kim in my interview with her a little bit about that story. And then I also started to tell her about my own sort of edge of breakdown. And so that business that I started as a result of leaving the club and kind of having that pulled out of my, pulled up from under me. Some people might say, by the way, Oh, you could have,

 

kept doing it yourself. It wasn't like that. It was his brand really. And I was, you know, ran it. So they weren't there for my brand at the time. So I couldn't have kept running it. So I did have to end. So that time I transitioned into my business with, and I had a business partner that came on and we grew really, really fast. And we had a team of like 30 people in the Philippines at the time. And this would have been when we first kind of started like 15 years, no.

 

Heather (07:12.534)

Like 12 years ago, I think we were just starting in that business. And I ran that for roughly five years with him. And in that whole time, we grew really fast. We were probably too much the same in a lot of ways where they always say business partners try and find somebody that compliments you. There was just things that were, you know, chaotic and crazy in my first real business where I wasn't under the umbrella of someone else. And, and I was out on my own and I had to, you know, pay.

 

Bring in the bacon, so to speak. My partner who now works in businesses, our lead developer, he got made redundant. So I was like literally going, all right, I'm bringing home the bacon. How do we do this? And so I would say yes to too many things. And you'll, you'll hear a theme in this podcast that you need to say no and be more discerning. But when you need to, when you need to pay rent and you need to put food on the table, you're saying yes. And I was saying yes. And I was charging.

 

ridiculous low fees. I think I charged $500 for like a website that tapped into email marketing and processed money. It was ridiculous, you guys. I was never gonna win. I was going, I was just stressing. So over that time period, I was trying to grow this business, trying to work it out, trying to say yes to everything. Probably didn't have the best business partner. We really complimented each other's strengths and weaknesses. And ultimately, I remember I started getting heart palpitations.

 

I started going totally inside and insular. I forgot I can ask for help. I thought I had to do everything by myself. I felt like I started going to really dark place. I remember not being able to sleep, having these, my heart beating out of my chest, like almost seeing things in the room. It was so weird. Like I just was not in a good way. I felt completely, um, hopeless. I just didn't know what was going on. So in the past where I felt anger towards my co -founder for the club,

 

And I was like, no, how dare you have this breakdown and treat me so terribly and all this stuff, right? Uh, where within a few, uh, weeks, everything I worked so hard for was basically shut down in front of me. Um, I've changed, I've changed a little my opinions on this. And I look at having these moments in our business where you're teetering on the edge of burnout or breakdown.

 

Heather (09:35.318)

is it's a really tricky place because I think if you're there or you're coming up to it, you don't necessarily see it. That's when you're like, I just need to hustle. I just need to push through this. I got this. And that's the key. I got this. You forget that there's we and help around that. And it's a dangerous path to be in. And I guess really why I wanted to share this is because after being through a really hard moment and realizing that

 

My old business was not for me. It was not running well. It was making me sick and I had to make change, but also seeing it with my old co -founder in the club, the entrepreneurial club we had. And then talking about it to my amazing guest, Kim Yabsley, you guys have to listen to coming up in a few episodes. She's amazing through all these conversations and thoughts and memories. I just started thinking is burnout the normal thing in growing a business.

 

And I hope that we make it not a normal thing. I hope it's not a badge of honor. I hope that like for me, I didn't, I don't like talking about that moment in my life where I was physically and mentally sick. And yeah, I, I don't want, I don't wish that upon anyone. So I guess the, the moral of this story is if you are feeling in this place where you, your heart's beating fast all the time, or you can't catch your breath or you're suddenly.

 

thinking I have to do it, I have to do it, I have to do it, then I urge you to take a step back and realize that maybe you're going down a spiral or a path that is not ultimately healthy for you and that there's other ways. And I don't know if somebody told me that when I was going through my own, if somebody were to tell me that, I don't know if I would have actually listened or how I would have listened or what I would have done because I was so far gone thinking,

 

I just got to work, you know, 20 hour days. I've just got to get through this that I don't know if I would have listened, but consider this an awareness episode and maybe a little prod or a little advice for any of you that are feeling right on the edge. And you're thinking, is this normal? Cause no, it shouldn't be normal. Yes. Working hard. Don't say any, like this podcast definitely is not about anti -working hard, working smart and recognizing you can't do it all yourselves. That's what I want you to get from this story. And, um,

 

Heather (12:02.454)

Hopefully there's something in there that helped and at least give you kind of a little insight to my journey as well. So you guys, thank you as always for tuning in, really appreciate you and please take care of yourselves no matter where you are in your journey and no matter where you're feeling right now. And if you are doing amazing things in this world, which all of you are, please take a moment to recognize that as well. Like ultimately you got this and you're gonna get through it. Okay, talk soon, bye.