Episode 187 Transcript

Heather Porter (00:03.502)

Hi guys, welcome back to the show. This is episode 187. Today I want to talk about something that's been sitting with me recently, especially as we head into the holidays. And basically it's this convenience is a scam. I know it's like a crazy statement to make, but seriously think about it. I read it the other day and I was like, okay, that really, I get it. Convenience is a scam. So here's what's going on. We've been sold this idea that

 

Easy is the goal, but the older I get, the more I realize easy doesn't always mean better. In fact, sometimes easy is exactly what keeps us disconnected, dissatisfied and drifting away from the things that actually matter to us. Today, in this episode, I want to explore three ways that convenience quietly costs us in our relationships, in our personal growth and in how we show up for our lives and businesses.

 

So let's get into it. I'm sure there might be a thing or two in here that might change how you're doing life in business. So let's start with how convenience sort of steals connection. Everything might be smoother, but we feel more alone than ever. I keep hearing this everywhere I go, whether I'm speaking at the university and teaching there or at speaking gigs or interviewing, you know, my, my guests on this show.

 

There's like this loneliness epidemic that we're all aware of, right? We live in the most convenient time in history. Our groceries are delivered, food is delivered, relationships are delivered. Swiped. I even was talking to my stepson, you guys, yesterday who's 23, who is challenged by having a long-term relationship because it's so transactional relationships these days. And that's their words, not mine.

 

because it's so easy, so convenient. You can just move on the second things get hard. And you don't actually need to speak to anyone if you don't want to. When I'm teaching at the uni, you know, I'll say, and I say it kind of as a joke, but I'll say, you know, anyone in the room under 25, and people raise their hand or even say even under the age of 30 and people will raise their hand and I'll say, would you prefer to DM somebody or get on a call? And they're like,

 

Heather Porter (02:28.651)

text for sure. Cause it's just, you know, what we've been trained to do. Now I get like convenience is really useful, right? Like I love a good delivery app, like the best of us, but I feel like here's the trap. The more convenient life becomes, the less connected we tend to feel. And that's because effort creates closeness, not convenience. The think about

 

most of the people you love the most. Did the best memories happen in perfectly controlled, tidy, convenient little moments? Or did they happen in chaos, in kitchens, over holidays, with mess, in long, hard, inconvenient conversations, in times where someone showed up for you, even though it wasn't easy?

 

So of course we're headed into the holidays right now and this is a season where temptation is there and it's there to streamline everything from our gifts. I mean, I cannot tell you how many gift guides I've been delivered with online in my inbox, which I love by the way, they're helpful, but makes it easy. Gatherings, conversations, and even emotions. It's like everything's kind of curated, right? The magic this time of year though is not found in the convenience, it's found in being present with people.

 

and actually or I should say in being the person who actually shows up even when it's inconvenient and honestly you guys every meaningful relationship in your life is built on inconvenience if you think about it the calls you take when you don't want to the errands you do because you need to the time you choose to spend with people even though maybe you didn't go into the day feeling like it 100 %

 

Convenience smooths everything, but it also flattens it. So you guys this season choose connection over convenience. I think it's where like the good stuff really, really lives. And I want to talk to you about something else. It's funny because it used to be the name of my old agency, Autopilot Your Business. But I actually think autopilot is the real danger going ahead. It's...

 

Heather Porter (04:56.397)

It kind of makes us passive, right? Convenience says, don't think, we'll decide for you. Don't choose, here's the recommended option. Don't reflect, here's something to distract you. And suddenly life becomes something we consume instead of something we create. And I always teach this as well. Be a producer and not a consumer. people are overwhelmed on creating content, similar sort of thing.

 

So we stop making these intentional choices and we start defaulting to whatever is easiest. And obviously I see this with AI too. Now AI can be absolutely incredible and I use it all of the time, but there's a difference between using a tool and letting a tool run your life. So convenience is always there whispering in your ear, don't bother, don't slow down, don't question, don't explore. But here's the truth, convenience

 

basically kills clarity. It keeps you from asking the big important questions. What do I actually want? Is this the life I meant to build? Am I creating or just consuming? Am I choosing this or did this just happen to me? Am I choosing it or did it just happen? The problem with living with convenience is that it nudges you into a life that's fine, but not necessarily fulfilling.

 

And nothing changes until you start choosing instead of drifting. We forget sometimes we can choose. And this is a theme all the time in this podcast, right? So where all my guests are saying you have, you can choose, you can choose your business. You can choose the business model. You can choose what you want to do actually in your days. And nothing changes until you start choosing instead of drifting, right? So the fix pause, get intentional.

 

Interrupt your own I'm on autopilot mindset, even if it is inconvenient. And let's lastly discuss how convenience hides what we really, really need in life. I find that it numbs discomfort. Discomfort and getting out of your comfort zone is where growth really happens. Are you avoiding hard conversations? Are you avoiding reflection? Are you avoiding vulnerability?

 

Heather Porter (07:23.861)

Are you avoiding rest? Avoiding connection because you feel tired? It's convenient to do that, right? Avoid, avoid, avoid. But every breakthrough you've ever had in your life came from something inconvenient. And the conversation you didn't want to have, the risk you didn't want to take, the pause you didn't want to sit into, the change you didn't want to face. Convenient says just push it away and wisdom says lean in.

 

So you guys, especially around the holidays, when old patterns show up, old emotions show up, expectations show up, it's tempting to choose whatever is easiest. But the truth is, inconvenience is often there for meaning. For deeper relationships, better decisions, honest reflection, and noticing what actually matters to you. This season, don't rush past those moments.

 

Don't choose easy even if easy means empty and don't numb what could be guiding you towards something important. Let yourself feel these things. Let yourself show up where it matters and let yourself above all be human. So let's bring this all together. Convenience is not bad. It's helpful. Of course, all of us use it. But when it becomes the default in our lives, we lose connection.

 

intention and growth. So here's your little nudge for the weeks ahead as we go into the holidays. Choose depth over convenience. Choose presence over ease. Choose the life you want, most importantly, and not just the life that's easiest. And trust that the inconvenient moments are going to be there and they often become the ones you treasure the most.

 

You guys, thank you for being here. I really appreciate you kind of going on my little tangent and being along for the ride. I really, really appreciate you as always, and I'll see you in the next episode. Only one more solo ep for the end of the year. See you in the next one. Thanks.