Episode 144 Transcript

Heather Porter (00:02.494)

Welcome to the show, Holly. I could not think of a better guest who is so aligned with your messaging and what you do. And I can't wait to share it with everyone, but welcome from the beautiful sunny coast of Australia. How are you?

 

Holly Smith (00:15.744)

Thank you so much for having me. I am doing so well. It's very sunny and hot here. So I'm inside an aircon and I get to talk to you and I'm really excited.

 

Heather Porter (00:26.75)

Yay. All right. So we love to start with tangible tips in our show. And, first of all, because as we uncover with our conversation, people are going to learn that you're all around bringing more happiness into people's lives and how they do that. So this is a great start. We're going to ask, or I want to discover from you, what are a few tips that you would like to share for people that want to feel?

 

happier in their life based on moments of high stress or anxiety or overwhelm.

 

Holly Smith (00:59.372)

Yeah, so if you're a business owner or an employee, I think your definition of success really determines your happiness, especially if you're a high performer. So when I think of happiness, I think, okay, where is my perspective and what is my perspective towards my success? So for example, social media is a huge part of unhappiness in today's society.

 

You can so easily scroll on social media and look at somebody else's last and think, that's what I want and that becomes your definition of success. Or maybe you're limiting beliefs or your beliefs in the past of what you can't accept telling you, that was your definition of success. And I think your definition of success is very much in line with your definition of happiness. So getting a little bit clearer on what your definition of success means, because when you set expectations that are so high and you don't meet those expectations,

 

I can guarantee that's when you become unhappy. Also when you focus on things that aren't in your control. So if you're waking up high stress, high anxiety, I can guarantee it's something that you have no control over right now. And I can guarantee it because you're not meeting your own expectations or even somebody else's. So redefining what success and happiness look like to you. I've personally had to do this with going into a new season in my life and my business and what I do want and what I don't want. My definition of success, you know, a few years ago is not the same as it was right now.

 

And you can understand as well what other people have you may look up to, but other people are probably looking up to you because you might have other things, right? So we're all in this journey of life. So that's the first thing is redefining your happiness and your success definition. And then the second thing is your habits. Your habits will determine everything in your life. How you wake up, how you feel, your decisions you make, how well you sleep at night. And I'll go through

 

those habits a little bit further into our pull past. That's why I my book Saturday for happiness. Those habits are literally healthy, wake up happy every single day and I think happiness is really a choice and that's why you use habits as like a first aid kit for making that choice.

 

Heather Porter (03:11.646)

Love it. So good. and yeah, we're going to get to more of those tips, the whole definition of success. I wish somebody would have shared that with me a lot younger. remember sort of in my late twenties, when I moved to Australia, I finally realized, wait, I can, I can choose that, you know? Yeah. So important. So based on, we've just touched that you have a book. So I want to know a little bit more around.

 

What is this book that you speak of? know you have a podcast as well. Where did like, what's your journey like, Holly? Where, what did you used to do? And how did you find this path to helping others become more happy in their own lives?

 

Holly Smith (03:52.16)

Yeah, so through my teenage years, I was super suicidal, super depressed, and that was after I broke my horse's past away. My purpose in my goal in life is always really just to show jumping. And I lived on acres my whole life. I ride my horses morning and night. My life was horses at a question and competing every weekend, training horses, selling them. That was my life. And I've always been an entrepreneur working since I was probably like 10.

 

Heather Porter (04:20.65)

Wow.

 

Holly Smith (04:21.494)

you know, training horses, selling them, swimming lessons, babysitting, know, walking dogs, whatever it was, I was always trying to make money. And I got to a point when I was like 16, something happened with my family and we moved off acreage and I had two horses pass away. And anyway, I felt like my life and my purpose was just stripped away from me and going through high school and know, teenage things, it just added to that extra level of anxiety and

 

If anyone knows what it feels like for your purpose to just be ripped out of you and you just feel lost, that's kind of how it felt. And I just woke up every single day feeling super suicidal, didn't want to live anymore, just had quite a few days. And then I was just praying to God, was like, God, can you just take this pain away from God, I'm gone tomorrow. I think my relationship with God wasn't really that close then. And yeah, I woke up the next day with absolutely no suicidal thoughts and gave me this idea to write this book, The Need for Happiness.

 

I wasn't ready to write it yet and I went through the real estate industry and I got so burnt out I couldn't walk for four weeks, my joints, my muscles and my body gave way and then pretty much these are the 30 habits that reconstruct your subconscious mind to wake up happy every single day. They pulled me out of burnout, they pulled me out of depression, they still pull me out of any kind of anxiety or load that I'm currently in right now and the first habit is creating time for yourself. Like how many times have we just seen

 

go, go. And I was looking at the hustle culture before this. And we just forget to take a step back and fill our own cups up before we fill other people's up. that seems like the first habit in the book. And then it goes through a sequence and habits go deeper and deeper and deeper. So yeah, that's the formula to happiness really.

 

Heather Porter (06:10.954)

So this, wow. So it's almost like a moment in time, like a pivotal, almost like a calling for you. It sounds like what you said, you woke up and you felt better when you knew this message that you're supposed to live into. Do you know, it's interesting because I know that like the younger generation right now, it's the generation of anxiety and you know, like the language, all of our social media is anxiety and trauma and like it's so real. And then

 

Holly Smith (06:18.891)

Yes.

 

Thank

 

Heather Porter (06:39.08)

It's like the very thing that we're learning from social media that's amazing is also hard and harming us because we have comparisonitis and all these things. So I love the fact that you've leaned into, first of all, a crazy, incredible path. So well done getting through those hard times, but taking those hard times and turning it into a message to help other people. And I want to talk a little bit around, I guess, your

 

some of the other habits in your book that you've created. So, okay, so first of all, you have this book. What else have you built around the book? And then we'll dive into some habits. So what else is going on around the book?

 

Holly Smith (07:18.124)

Yeah, so before, so when I left the real estate industry, I built a face-to-face personal training business and COVID did. I built quite a large online personal training business called BizFit. And then pretty much at the end of 2020, I believe, I was competing in a bodybuilding comp. So a few years before that was like prepping for years and years and it kept getting cancelled because of COVID. So that really drains me a lot and also built a lot of resilience.

 

Heather Porter (07:29.386)

Great.

 

Holly Smith (07:49.651)

And when I actually did end up competing at the end of 2022, was the biggest comp there was. But I think I was like five weeks pregnant when I was in state. Anyways, I had my daughter in 2023. was like, what? 17, I think she's 17 months now, so she's still a little baby. going from hustling and running quite a large online business.

 

Heather Porter (08:09.696)

you

 

Holly Smith (08:15.748)

Then my whole life shifting where I'm now a mother. I have a baby like I'm a wife. We got married I've moved to us. I'm living on my dream location like my whole life changed So again, I've had to kind of really Determine what who I am and my new identity Because when you're a mother it feels like it's kind of stripped away from me. I'm so sorry. I'm gonna have to cough Been a little bit sick

 

Heather Porter (08:23.327)

Yeah.

 

Holly Smith (08:45.42)

Sorry, sorry.

 

Heather Porter (08:45.714)

All good. No, you're fine. We'll just edit it out.

 

Holly Smith (08:50.54)

I'm sorry. And yeah, so I watched my podcast, watched the book, and then I built the happiness formula and I decided to lead this bit, my first online personal training business and go all in on my purpose. And that was really scary. Like I lost a lot of income, but it was me going, I'm burning all bridges and going home with him. And that's when I built the happiness formula. So now I have a community of other like-minded business owners and even employees.

 

people wanting to build businesses, but it's more so the accountability. I think a lot of the time people miss the whole accountability aspect because, if you can learn to yourself accountable and I put the happiness from teaching you, then I believe it's really the greatest gift anyone can really give you is to teach you to hold yourself accountable rather than relying on external factors or other things for motivation. You've got a plan to get from A to B and to keep pursuing those habits.

 

You don't really have to, like, it's guarantee.

 

Heather Porter (09:52.189)

Yeah, really smart. so when people you said you talked about a community that you have. do you what do you guys do? Do you have like coaching or how does this community work?

 

Holly Smith (10:02.752)

Yeah, so we have the whole entire happiness formula and you've got other courses within this community like build your business, we've got meditations, affirmations, you've got all like health and fitness plans, you've got everything that you need to live your happiest life. So we meet every single week on a Tuesday, we come together for accountability and any questions, but depending on which stage you're in, we come together and we'll create your own happiness formula roadmap. So let's just say someone is

 

here and wants to just get really organized and just, you know, get more self love or get more revision for their life. I'll build their roadmap for them and then they just go to it slowly or at their own pace. But they're really accountability mechanisms because that's when people fall off the wagon there and we don't want that. And then the other side is those people who are like, I know what I want, but I just don't know how to get there. Okay, let's create your planning system.

 

very much to build that business that you want to. So there's two different types of people that usually come in but also the community is really lovely because it's just like your accountability is so strong. So many people have made amazing friendships and they're also accountability partners in the community and it's just really nice.

 

Heather Porter (11:14.77)

You've built, gosh, you've built something so amazing. I love, I love this. and your journey, by the way, to how you got there. I had no idea that you had like the, the real estate background and then the fitness background. And so you're very entrepreneurial and you're a very smart marketer. You probably know that already, but, it's what I do in my business. So I, I'm listening to a couple of things that you're saying that I just want to flag with people listening. Number one is you have your own formula, the happiness formula.

 

really smart because that sets you apart. have a, like expectations. Some, someone knows when they sign up with you, they're like, this is the process, the model, the flow I'm going to go through. And I absolutely think that is brilliant because it simplifies everything. You're, you're not just like, let's, let's coach around happiness. It's like, no, we have a formula. This is what works. Let's, let's go through this.

 

Holly Smith (11:57.036)

because...

 

Holly Smith (12:02.59)

Yeah, and I'll just add as well, I'm sure other people in the coaching industry have felt like this before or even going through it. I went through a stage where I was attracting the wrong people into my community. These were people that weren't doing the formula. And what I realized was that people were leaving and the retention rate was really low, so really high, and they weren't getting the results. I'm like, what's going on? Anyway, did a big, you know,

 

Heather Porter (12:28.437)

Yeah.

 

Holly Smith (12:30.142)

lots of research into like our marketing back, back end and who these people are and what they wanted when they first came on board. They weren't our ideal clients. So targeting the right ideal client and getting really clear on that will save you so much, like, I guess confusion with, your coaching style and what the outcome is of your program. So stick to what works.

 

and just truck those people that are going to go through what works so they can get the outcome rather than just taking on everyone and anyone.

 

Heather Porter (13:07.38)

Who is your ideal client?

 

Holly Smith (13:10.206)

Yeah, generally most of them are parents, business owners who are looking for more accountability to get to the next level.

 

Heather Porter (13:20.713)

How clear you said that is brilliant. I speak to many business owners obviously with this podcast, but just in my own community. And it is something that people struggle with all the time is answering that question. So the fact that you just answered it in like a phrase is like, well done. Yeah. Yeah, no, it does. I want to talk more about your clients too. So.

 

Holly Smith (13:37.772)

Thank you. It took me a long time. Which we did.

 

Heather Porter (13:45.3)

Think about maybe one or two people that you've helped through your happiness formula. I always find that when we talk about a case study, the before and the after of somebody, people get a really clear idea on how you work and how you've helped somebody. So paint a picture for us, Holly. Think of somebody you've helped. What were they like when they came to you? How did you work with them and what happened at the end of that situation?

 

Holly Smith (14:10.558)

Yeah, so again, I'll give you two because there's three different types of people. The first one is this is crazy and I've known this lady for quite a few years now, but all of sudden she just called me up and we had a chat and I was like, well, hey, tell me. I'm called two names, we've been 50 for the first time and we're part of the same community. And long story short, she was homeless, literally didn't know what to do. She needs so much help and literally held her accountable to

 

Heather Porter (14:13.836)

Love it.

 

Holly Smith (14:40.534)

do a few other things and she went through the formula and now she's running a six figure business like eight weeks later and so in love with herself looking amazing she's found a place where she loves to live and she's now getting contracts to be speaking to around Australia so that to me is just like incredible how for her she always said that it would be accountability and knowing that there's someone there that really believes in you

 

makes it a little bit easier to actually take that next step. And the other person I'm thinking of is, he was really burnt out in an unhappiness as well. he wanted to his own business and wanted to run marathons and just didn't know how to get there. So he down every single week. This is for like one-on-one accountability. And he, I think 16 weeks, he...

 

quit that job, found like literally had offices, everything, we got to hire these first employees, read a rock and roll and then 12 months later, $50,000. So it doesn't matter like who you are, what background you came from, but it really determines if you're ready to take that next step and actually do it rather than think about it, that you're going to get to that next level and achieve everything you've wanted to do. Like those two people wouldn't have got to where they are now if they didn't say, okay, I'm going to do it.

 

I'm going to take this first step. They didn't wait for the motivation because motivation is a doing word. Happy people are motivated and motivated people are happy. So if you think about that, generally if I want to go to the gym every single day, I'll feel a lot happier and I do do exercise that I enjoy. It's going to make me motivated to keep going once I see the results. It's the with everything.

 

Heather Porter (16:30.356)

Brilliant. Love it. Okay. Now I want more tips because you've just given us a few tips, especially that last one tip time. So think about your happiness formula. Think about what you do with your clients. yeah, talk to us. Like if I'm sitting here listening, I'm like, this is great. I have some ideas, but now I really want to know how to, how do I feel more happy? Because one thing I will say before you get started with your tips is that sort of pursuit of happiness, right? Is, is challenge because

 

Happiness is so loaded, such a word and you're if you're always pursuing it, how do know when you get it? So I want to have a I guess let's start with what does happiness mean? Like what are we trying to achieve with happiness and then some tips on how to actually achieve it and get there.

 

Holly Smith (17:16.734)

Yeah, firstly you got to realize that happiness is not in the future I know it's really sad and kind of scary to think about like once I get here I'm going to be happy if not You're not going to be happy in the future. Yes, you might be but let's just say that you're not going to be the clue happiness starts right now and I love the saying again, it's called the present because it's a gift and happiness is actually a lot of people don't really understand what happiness really is because

 

Heather Porter (17:20.959)

Okay.

 

Holly Smith (17:44.844)

They think, you know, once I get here, I'll be happy. Once I earn this amount of money, I'll be happy. Once I find the love of my life and have a family, I'll be happy. Once I go on this holiday, I'll be happy. Everything will be okay. They're real quick dopamine fixes that will make you happy. But what about long-term happiness? No one really thinks about long-term. Happiness is not long-term, unfortunately. It can be if you make the choice every single day to wake up happy. And it is, I do believe it's a choice. And that's why they have it, so it's helpful. But it's what...

 

It's the joy, the daily joy that you have to find every single day. How do you experience more daily joy? Looking at the positives, redefining your definition and your success of happiness, what that really looks like to you. Staying away from social media and only for research purposes, that's what I do now. And that's been huge, just defining what happiness really looks like to me. And when you define your definition of

 

which you know what the next step is moving forward. So, example, I grew up with a father telling me that if I didn't go to uni or I get a good job, then I wouldn't be able to have a nice house, be able to drive a nice car, I won't be happy, because that's what he believed growing up, and that's he still believes today. So I've had to reconstruct my subconscious mind to my belief system to believe that that is not true. I can choose to be here happy right now.

 

But it's not just, okay, well, I'm gonna get a new puppy. That will make me happy. It's not about things. It's about how can I experience more joy? Do more things you enjoy doing. Enduring and resilience. Enjoy, endure. You've gotta endure things and learn to be resilient. There was a study on happiness that resilience is like the number one component to happy people. That's what made them the happiest. They went through trials and went through tribulations.

 

And through that, they did what we're doing. That actually made them more happy than anything. Maybe if you didn't go through any trials at all, you would find like the tiniest little thing to make you feel unhappy and then you feel like your life would be over. But because you've gone through things, you now can look back and go, wow, I'm so powerful. I'm amazing. And the second part to that would be just your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship of all.

 

Holly Smith (20:08.138)

If you do not love yourself, you're really not going to be happy. Let's be honest.

 

Heather Porter (20:14.716)

No. So two things from that. There's a woman in the States named Brooke Castillo who does, has a coaching school called the Life Coach School. And something that she said, it's really great. That is life is 50 50. And basically the idea being that how would you know what happiness is if you don't know what sadness is? And you, you touched on that. You, you talked about the trials and tribulations that we all have. We, you need them in order to actually know what

 

Holly Smith (20:36.428)

Yeah.

 

Heather Porter (20:44.404)

makes you happy, what makes you feel fulfilled. If you just lived a life of blandness, of comfort, you wouldn't know it, would you?

 

Holly Smith (20:53.512)

No, that's exactly right. like a lot of people go like, why is there so much, you know, bad things in the world? And you're right. You wouldn't really determine what true happiness is if there was no opposite. And I was listening to someone the other day, and then what might have been a meditation or an affirmation, ten minute affirmation thing, and he was saying like, out of everyone,

 

that could be alive, so you are alive and you were chosen. Like you are on this earth and it's a blessing that you are alive. There could have been so many other people, but you were here. Like in their work saying how it's like a 1 % you know, that you are here today. And I just was like really took me back and I really thought about it.

 

Everyone's here for a purpose, everyone's here for a reason, until you really truly believe that, you're not going to do anything with your life that you believe is worthwhile. that's I think, when you don't reach your own expectations, that's when you become unhappy. So if you're not reaching your expectations through, I'm actually making a difference, I'm serving in the world. I've actually got, there's a reason I'm alive today. Then you wake up every single day and just wandering around and getting lost and not doing anything about it.

 

Heather Porter (22:16.926)

Speaking on that and great point, the idea of living reactively. So I've definitely spoken to people over the years. I even had a time in my life when this happened as well. But the idea that, you you suddenly find yourself in a business that you've been in for 10 years that you don't like, or you sort of have fallen into something and then you continue down that path because you need to pay the bills or, you you don't know if there's other options and you actually forget what makes you happy.

 

Do you have advice for people on how to find things that will bring them joy if they actually forgot what that might be?

 

Holly Smith (22:56.476)

I can't really relate to this question. Like I can't really relate to this and like I went through a stage of I don't want to do sales calls anymore. Like I just am not enjoying life. I'm not enjoying like anything that I'm doing, this and that. And I remember I was like complaining, not complaining, but venting to my mentor at the time. was like, Holly, I think you're asking the wrong question. And this was at the same time that I was attracting the wrong kinds of people into my community. And it wasn't.

 

making me happy because they weren't getting the results they looking for. It was making it lot harder and it made me feel deflated. So when I ask myself, okay, well what's the real issue here? Look, because don't like sales calls, because I don't want to do this business anymore. I know this is my purpose, but maybe I'm doing it in the wrong way. Or maybe it's time for me to do it in a different way than I have been. Because obviously it's like insanity, right? You think of the same thing and you hit the same results. So...

 

What I would say is, what do you think the real issue really is that's making one happy? Because you've been doing the same thing again and again and you're not changing. Because when you aren't moving forward and you feel stuck, that's when you know you need to change. That's when you need to push forward and do something different. And I've learned that the hard way, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, the same situation. Push, push, push, nothing's changed.

 

from knowing that and you've got to take the time for yourself to sit, journal or just deal with your own thoughts and realise this and then you can determine. Like I've talked about pretty much as all of the podcasts, redefine your success.

 

Read upon your success. What does that look like to you? Instead of focusing on the money, maybe look at the metrics. Maybe focus on the serving rather than the daily hustle. I find as well putting your purpose and your vision on your wall. That's what I suggest to all my clients. Put your values, your cook on the scene, your purpose, your mission, the vision board up on your wall. So when you do your meetings, every single day, you know why you're sitting on these calls or you know why you wake up at 5 a.m. to go to the gym so you can get to the office and I speak like...

 

Holly Smith (25:14.924)

There's more of a reason a pet is different.

 

Heather Porter (25:17.664)

Brilliant, brilliant advice. Now, one question for you as we start to slowly wrap up the question of the future. And there's a lot of change, as you know, being in business and working with businesses, jobs changing due to AI jobs potentially being lost. There's people that are stressing out. There's people that are excited. There's new supplements coming out. There's mind hacks. There's biohacking. There's all these things floating around us right now. And a lot of noise as well.

 

So what's the future of, I'll call it the pursuit of happiness. What's the future of happiness, the pursuit of it and fulfillment look like when things are just getting busier and noisier and crazier?

 

Holly Smith (26:00.295)

I think as well as business owners, they get caught in the shining objects syndrome. I did all the time. But it's not until you're clear on that vision of where you want to go that you can say yes, no, yes, no, yes, no. Like you've got to be really careful with what you say yes to and what you say no to. And know, the is saying no to successful people in the world usually say no to more things than yes.

 

I think you really need to determine where you're going first, otherwise you're not going to know what to say yes and no to. One of the habits in my book, strong decision making, that will save you a lot of time. If you think nasty stuff, well, she's just a woman actually doing anything to me. If you are in that phase in your life where you feel stuck and it's time to do something different, on final means give it a go with anything that you're doing, either marketing approach or whatever, like I am a big...

 

believe that you've got to try things to see if they work. more things you try, the more times you fail, the closer you're going to get to succeeding. So if you're sitting on the sideline and you're so scared to take action, every single time you fail, you're getting one step closer. Those billionaires out there, they've three times in the last few hours rather than not taking any action. So they're one step closer to getting the desired goal they're looking for.

 

when it comes to the seal of happiness but it all goes back to social media let's be honest and the ideal thing the card action like not to speak badly of them but they've kind of ruined it for the only generation with self-image what the hustle and life should look like that it's okay to have you know you can date whoever you want and have children with whoever you want like again i'm not judging there's nothing wrong with that but i think they've built such a interesting culture that

 

So many young women are now replicating what they see and they want that for their life and they think that's success. So if you think that's success and it's such a far away ideal and it's not true to their purpose, they haven't looked within with what their true purpose is, they just go, I want to be like this person. Then they're not going to meet their own expectations and that's why they're getting anxious and that's why they have anxiety because they have no way of getting to that massive goal of looking like and being like somebody else.

 

Holly Smith (28:25.588)

And I think that's why, yeah, social media, I don't know where it's going to be in the next few years, definitely has already impacted a lot of young women specifically.

 

Heather Porter (28:35.164)

It does. I that message really resonates with me what you just said around specifically the Kardashians and influencers. Yeah, us chasing what they what they live without even asking a is it right for us and B is actually their life anyway. where do people find out more about you if they want to be read the book or be part of your community?

 

Holly Smith (29:02.156)

Yeah, so you can my website 30daystohappiness.com.au and follow me on Instagram, holly otherscoresmith00 and on LinkedIn. And my podcast is 30 Days to Happiness. So if you want to tune in there, you totally can.

 

Heather Porter (29:17.364)

You guys have another podcast you can listen to. And as we start to wrap up, do you have any last words of advice for our listeners who are sitting here right now potentially thinking, but Holly, I don't have time. I'm stressed. I have too much going on. How do I look after myself?

 

Holly Smith (29:39.369)

Yeah, you just need to take a moment. Take an hour without your phone, grab a paper and pen and just sit there with your thoughts. What idiot said then done? I'm so sorry. god, I'm so sorry.

 

Heather Porter (29:56.0)

You're fine. No, no stress. I get it. I get it. So let's go back to your advice, your last bit of advice.

 

Holly Smith (30:05.068)

I would suggest that you grab a paper and pen and you sit down with your own thoughts and again it's easier said than done because you want to sit down and listen to your own thoughts but if you can sit down and listen to your own thoughts then you'll really get a good understanding of what's going on in your head and then you'll be able to really understand what your belief systems are doing, your subconscious mind is doing, why is it showing up the way it is and why do you keep thinking about the same thing. If you think about 85 or 90 % of thoughts are repeated.

 

on a daily basis. So what you thought about yesterday, you're going to think about today. If you think about all those negative things, you know, I'm not worthy of this or I hate myself here or blah, blah. You're probably going to think that the next day. And when you think thoughts again and again again, they become a hazard, right? And then you start believing them and then they become your behaviors. So if you sit down with yourself and with a paper and pen, just a daily phone and just listen to your own thoughts and write them down, you will get a very good understanding.

 

where you are and what the next thing

 

Heather Porter (31:04.32)

Perfect. Thank you so much for being here. And it's been a pleasure just hearing about your journey and where you've come from and through that, what you've created and the help you're putting out there to the world. Certainly we need more people like you. So thank you, Holly, for being here.

 

Holly Smith (31:20.524)

Thank you so much for having me. This was so much fun. You've asked some really great questions and yeah, I hope everyone got some value.

 

Heather Porter (31:26.484)

Definitely. Thank you.